greetings to all my peeps. how come when you watch a movie on tv, they either take a break when its just getting interesting or never take a break when you desperately need a whizz. jeez man, i had to hold my urine desperatley for a good solid twenty minutes whilst watching passenger 57 on c5 just then. whats with all the good movies all of a sudden? hey, im not complaining, roll on gone in 60 seconds on wednesday. top movie. angelina jolie is hot in that movie, and cage kicks ass too. i saw this movie bout 20 times in my hotel in norway, but pah, ill still watch it.

so yea.... go rub your magic lamp
word life and out
captain idiot

greetings to all my peeps on the so called 'holy day' of the week. so heres a not so holy topic...

but first....

anyone notice how water bottles have become trendy? i didnt really notice it today when i was coming home from refereeing, but tonnes off people had one. its like the new cigarette craze, but without all the cancer. which i guess could be looked at as a good thing. unless you like cancer.
i for one have to say im not actually a big fan of cancer. i lost my grandad to lung cancer. i guess dieing a slow painful death just isnt my style.
but, you know what is my style!
well ill tell you!

cue an aol conversation i had...

captainidiot: you know probably no one has ever eaten shit. what if shit tastes good or is the cure to cancer or aids or summat?
captainidiot: flies eat shit they dont get cancer
bob: how do you know?
captainidiot: there are no hairless flies around
captainidiot: yep just bought my ticket to hell
captainidiot: see ya there bob
bob: YES! another one coming with me!
captainidiot: i hope i meet hitler in hell
bob: hitler never liked fat people though
captainidiot: youre screwed too then.
 
then very shortly, and spookily coinsidently after, i saw this picture

if the pic didnt load or work, the url is http://www.allfunpix.com/humor/pics4/hitler_jerkin.jpg

i  think this is supposed to make me not jerk off to internet porn, but to tell you the truth it just isnt going to stop me. dont let it stop you either. even all those females that probably dont jerk off to internet porn. to prove it wrong, everyone start jerking off to internet porn.

note: this site is not considered ‘internet porn’ so please stop jerking off.

gregetins to all my pepes...
accdornig to a rseearcher at an enlgsih uinervtisy, it deosnt mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. the rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. amzanig huh? on wtih teh sohw!

so yea.... go rub yuor miagc lmap
wrod lfie and out
cpaitan iiodt

greetings to all my peeps. i thought id give you an insight into my double it lesson today. so here we go, this is what happened today.

10:38 ive just started to write this blog. it wont be very entertaining.
10:45 im taking the piss outta the gnome for failing his driving test. so is everyone else.
10:50 woohoo, new people are looking my site. ka-ching.
10:55 browny has started to listen to medieval music. yawn.
10:57 dr gnome and i are freaks for voting to listen to radiohead! freak power!
10:59 cue radiohead.
11:05 just got a timmy mallett wallpaper. its swell.
11:07 laughing at dr gnomes "life goals".
11:10 www.118experience.com - its the site im on
11:12 monitor off for "class discussion"
11:23 monitor on
11:26 sent file "freeporn.doc" to dr gnome... it wasnt porn, just a stupid filename.
11:28 i have an itchy nose.
11:29 laughing at colette dancing. off for break. toodeloo for five minutes....
11:38 im back... sorry im not five minutes later, (i took nine minutes to get back for those lame at maths like the gnome). it took me 18 darts to kill browny in a game of killer.
11:39 off to play fly helicopter at www.2dplay.com
11:41 its taking its time.... grrrrrr at slow computers.
11:46 had to stop playing or else my account would be disabled. for the first time in one hour and sixteen minutes, ive started doing the scheduled work.
11:47 stopped working... gonna mess around on the internet.
11:51  talk to mr thomas about my hat. apparently its changed from the "craig david" style of yesterday. i dont think this guy knows i have many hats.
12:01 gasp! ten minutes of work.... noooooooo! whats going on? and what is this shit im listening to now? damn my it class for having a bad taste in music.
12:06 shhh.... i gonna googlewhack in a moment. dont tell the teacher.
12:08 can someone please explain what a double-bendover reverse pretzel twist is?
12:11 mental note to myself: finish off work up to hardware something or other for friday. no doubt ill forget within the next five minutes.
12:13 tried my hardest to get this crap of the radio. but just like dr gnome did in his driving test, i failed.
12:17 im thinking that this lesson will never end. this music is really shit. i coulda sworn i heard this same song about three tracks earlier.
12:18 found out im listening to the kosheen album. my hint: stay well away. else you will suffer from death by music.
12:25 currently discussing what david blaine does when he needs to poop. trying to get a class trip to see the freak in a box. class trips rule!
12:28 what?! he had david gray all along? and weve been listening to kosheen. grrr
12:30 just sent my work home. technically the lesson is over, but i promised two hours of this... rambling, so two hours is what you'll get.
12:31 air conditioning has been turned on. it sounds like dr gnome on a motorbike.
12:32 munching on tescos thick 'n' crunchy ready salted crinkle cut crisps.
12:33 reading the ingredients on my crisps. someone has threatened to beat my high score on fly helicopter. yeah, as if that could ever happen.
12:34 logged in to blogdrive.com to post my blog.
12:35 gave my blog a title.
12:36 awaiting 12:37. watching dr gnome getting ready to blog.
12:37 awaiting 12:38
12:38 blog over

so yea... go rub your magic lamp
word life and out
captain idiot

greetings to all my peeps. well this is as close as youre gonna get to a blog. my knees hurting a lot and the pain is stopping my brain putting together a blog that makes sense. tomorrows blog will be a lot better. a lot.

so yea.... go rub your magic lamp
word life and out
captain idiot

song im currently listening to: rem - bad day

ok, its one of those weeks. i was eagerly awaiting the leeds match by viewing all the teletext/ceefax/sky interactive pages and found out that the ref of the match was jeff winter. hes a local lad, comes from the mean streets of ... stockton. however, he hates leeds. the game tonight was a true reflection of this. ok, leeds played crap and lost 4-0 (and all their goals were good - no im not making excuses check them out if you dont believe me), but jeff winter was sooooo biased towards the foxes, i mean everytime leicester were offside hed wait half an hour before pulling them up for our freekicks. but when we were caught offside he was sharp and on the spot. leeds made 11 fouls and got 2 bookings. they made 10 fouls and got 0 bookings. wheres the logic? i feel an angry letter coming to my employees - the fa. jeff winter brings a bad name to all referees. sometimes im ashamed to be associated with him. better not go too over the top, i might be reffing with him some day in which i will cast a black mark on my pointless life. yea, im gonna go take my fury out on ansem (the last boss on kingdom hearts for the ps2 - the one full of all the disney characters - its not a childrens game). toodleoo.

so yea.... go rub your magic lamp
word life and out
captain idiot